Lies Lies and Lies


…I can’t eat anymore. I force myself to try but everything tastes the same…

Twenty feet away, a woman smacked a toddler on the back of his head. I couldn’t see what his offence was, but the heavy-handed blow seemed disproportionate to any crime a two-year-old could have committed. I felt a rush of sadness in my throat- the precursor to tears- but I’d lost the ability to cry and gazed dry-eyed at Sarah.
Cold sweat.
She saw the malevolence pass through my tired, weary eyes and it made her shudder.

I reached for my glass of water and downed it. Breaking the eye-contact between us.

My mind had automatically blocked the droned voices of the people around us… concentrating on her voice of reason.
But it’s been an hour now and her words started fading into the alcove of my mind as my thoughts drifted.

I’d been fooled.
Lived a life of lies and deceit.
Sacrificed for nothing but betrayal.

When I dream of revenge it’s always in retribution for my stolen relationships. What gives anyone the right to make me suspicious of people I’ve liked and loved? Or them of me?
I can rationalize as much as I like but I know that nothing will ever be the same again. Whatever happens, I am not the person I was….

But if I’ve learned anything from this ordeal it’s:

Pain is merely a part of life. By embracing it, one can find surprising satisfaction in suffering.
There are no explanations for human evil. Only excuses.

~ by Disturbed Stranger on October 2, 2009.

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