Poisoned Mind

The air was damp. A misty cool breeze blew… causing diminutive waves to crash on jagged but softened rocks at the bottom of the cliff. The sun’s vicious beams refracted off the rock’s tarnished yet gleaming glaze. Seagulls sang as they glided over the sea… fluttering against the waves. She leaned back against one of the rocks, focusing her weight on the center of her back. Her blouse felt moist and cold. She gripped hard at the papers in her hands… twisting them firmly in her clutch. Her rheum eyes started to burn as she stared across the infinite blue… and with a single blink tears ran down her face. why? she thought. A strike of pain shot in her chest and flashbacked several diminished slides in the screening of her mind “WHY?” she yelled. Her voice echoed in the empty space not quite as empty as her heart. But there was no answer… for there never is an answer to pain. Whimpering… she gradually loosened her grip… and the papers hovered into the sea. The writing started to fade as the ink merged with the water causing a dark blotch near her feet. She was free. Free from her pain. The papers were completely drenched now, unlike her body however, they did not drown…

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~ by Disturbed Stranger on August 16, 2008.

65 Responses to “Poisoned Mind”

  1. (gasps)
    hey i have the 1st comment! Love the image of ink merging with the water, freeing her. It’s really that simple sometimes, isn’t it?
    another deliciously morbid piece-

  2. Absolutely heart-clenching.
    I sympathize. As I was reading I felt like I wanted to just reach out and pull her out of there.
    Bravo, really really bravo.

  3. What was in those papers? What pushed her to the end of her rope? (or cliff :P ) Why? Why? WHY?! ;)

  4. That is wonderfully written, careful control of over the tone so it is dark but not maudlin. The change of tone from why to WHY gives the piece real movement and energy and the final image is wonderful.

  5. i love the mystery and the intricate watercolor you have described for my minds eye. i enjoyed the sensual movement into the concluding action and how it set her free. “ink merged with the water” as harmonie22 mentioned really comes out of the text strongly

  6. Thats heart breaking!! I wish I could express my feeling similar way…you write so good that I keep visiting and reading ur post for few days and each time it takes me to a past of my life!

  7. Amazing writing! very descriptive and paints a detailed picture in the reader’s mind.
    i wish all our pain could be on paper; freeing ourselves from it easily.

  8. harmonie22- Congrats on being the first ;) The ending to her suffering may seem simple but was the journey as simple?

    Maclean Patrick- I don’t think she would have been grateful if you had pulled her out of there, do you? Thank you.

    Viper- Her “whys” weren’t answered… why should yours be? ;)

    Paul- Your comments are always encouraging and I look forward to them, thank you!

    mrs.sarah ott- I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you and welcome here.

    Amu- That’s really flattering! I’m honored to have you as a reader!

    atoona- But do you think that was easy? Better yet, do you think it’s worth ending your life in order to end your pain? It’s a very difficult decision actually, don’t you think?
    Thank you and welcome to my blog.

  9. You try and you try, but sometimes it’s hopeless.

  10. The atmosphere was intense and intoxicating. This story had several miles more depth and more descriptive quality than I’d expected after reading your rather discouraging profile page on Blogger ;). And no, in my opinion, ending one’s life to end one’s pain is rarely a good decision. Certainly not in this lady’s case.

    Thanks for commenting my blog. I hope to read more here.

  11. Some questions in life should not be answered. Only endured.

  12. wonderful

  13. soul crushing post.
    I like.

  14. Powell- … Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.

    Fiendish- Wise choice… When a leg’s infected you don’t kill the patient… you just amputate the leg… see my point?
    Thank you for your comment and welcome to the “Disturbed” world.
    Btw, I tend to be discouraging ;)

    Evyl- Some questions in life should not be bothered with ;)

    Sumedh- Thank you.

    mental challenge- I knew you would Disturbed jr. ;)

  15. This is beautiful, really descriptive. You write well. Thanks for sharing.

  16. I can almost feel the cold wind burning my eyes as I read.
    It’s an absolutely powerful image. Saddening.
    You are an amazing writer Disturbed Stranger. I salute you.

  17. Sad

  18. this is quite sad!
    but beautifully written :)

  19. powerful post but sometimes quitting is better than trying

  20. You paint with your words..chiaroscuro style! :)

  21. Very nice.

    hakhak

    elyens

    XXXxx

  22. Jena Isle- Thank you for visiting.

    Alyssa M- Burned my eyes too the second time I read it… Thank you.

    Queen N- There’s a change ;)

    cruxine- Welcome to my blog! I am beautiful… so naturally I write beautifully ;)

    fadidra- That’s true… but quitting on your life?

    gypsy-heart- Now that’s interesting :) Thank you my dear.

    rimewire- Thank you, nice to have you back here. Good luck with the competitions!

  23. I bet the papers were letters sent to her by her husband’s/bf’s mistress explaining the affair that’s been going on for years, close? :P

  24. The sun’s vicious beams refracted off the rock’s tarnished yet gleaming glaze. very nice line…descriptive and gives us just enough insight to the end. you’re really able to create an intriguing atmosphere. lots of beautiful description for one last moment in time.

  25. It doesn’t feel like the end as if somehow she’ll sink to find another world.
    Beautiful Disturbed Stranger.

  26. I could spend days in your blog. I just love this in here. You expressed what so many people feel at times. I know there are many that would say they have never been pushed to the edge like this. I have. I would never have jumped off the edge…but many have. The mind can play terrible tricks on many. In life, just stepping back and pausing is all that is needed most of the time.

  27. I don’t think she’s a very patient person. What a waste of life. 7mara.

  28. Your writing reminds me of the band Sigur Ros. My imagination is engaged.

  29. Dr.Know- …very original ;)

    laineylapiz- Well I do appreciate accuracy in details… So thank you for noticing.

    Delusional BND- Interesting… That’s how I wanted to end it at first but then thought… she doesn’t deserve hope for a second chance.

    Tammy Warren- Very brave of you to confess… But sometimes stepping back and pausing just causes unnecessary delays to a problem… Although it would have been the wiser choice in this case.
    Welcome to my blog and feel free to explore the dark side ;)

    q8tia- Some people out there are just a “waste of life”… Maybe more should consider paying our cliff a visit ;)

    randall- Fabulous… I love engaged minds. Welcome here!

  30. Beautifully written. You have the gift of describing things. I totally felt like I was in that girl’s place. But what was written on the paper? It would be lovely to read more from you.

  31. Your writings are masteerpieces. I enjoy reading them over and over. Amazing Disturbed.

  32. Great stuff here. Glad I stopped by to check it out. I defiinetly will stop by again.

    JO

  33. Poor girl. She must have suffered a lot. Maybe now she’ll finally find some peace.
    Nicely done, your work continues to amaze me.

  34. What a great writer you are. Idol.

  35. I could feel all the emotion from her. It is amazing how you can write something that can actually show so much emotion.

  36. Your diligent attention to details signifies the conflict. Great writing.

  37. Простовато и, скорее всего, не в топ.

  38. CeCe- Sparked your curiosity didn’t it? ;) Let your imagination dazzle me and you tell me what you think is in those papers.

    Homeless Man Speaks- I’m honored to have you as a reader and I hope my upcoming posts don’t disappoint you.

    Justordinary- I’m glad you stopped by, feel free to drop by anytime to satisfy your mind ;)

    Celeso- I doubt it… And thanks.

    Jonell- I am truly flattered. Thank you.

    heidi- You are a sharp and sensitive reader. I’m glad you enjoyed the reading.

    Devil Finch- Your work is as equally outstanding. Thank you.

  39. Chilling
    very well done Disturbed.
    I urge you to write a novel.

  40. because I’m still alive to hear he answer? :p
    AND because you can’t resist any of m requests :D (am I pushing it too far?)

  41. Very touching. Sometimes the pain is just unbearable. I understand where she’s coming from, but I would never dream of going where she went to.
    As usual breathtaking words.

  42. “diminutive waves to crash on jagged but softened rocks at the bottom of the cliff.” Sounds like a great metaphor for life.

  43. Amazing!

  44. Karri Compton- In time I will… Thank you for your support.

    Viper- Then watch me not resist your request.

    P2C2U- I hope you don’t. Pain builds strong character. It toughens you up… if you resist the jumping.

    randall- Yeah it does…

    Pure Hatred- Thanks.

  45. Wow, I’d like to see some more of this piece if there is any.
    You did a fantastic job of pulling the reader into the character’s angst.
    Nicely done. Thanks for dropping by and reading the other day.
    I’ll be back by to read some more of your work.
    kim

  46. Wonderfully expressed!! keep writing. :)

  47. Hello
    You amazing writer, you. Brilliant, suicide by note. Perfect revenge and utterly fitting. I love your writing – it has quiet guts.
    Annie

  48. uh, so beautiful. i know that feeling that there ‘never is an answer to pain.’

  49. Brilliant! Brilliant!
    Dark. Hopeless. Suffocation. Pain. Disturbed.
    I expect nothing less.
    Terrific job!

  50. Kim- Welcome aboard! Unfortunately there isn’t more to this piece but there will be more of the same quality. I’ll be visiting you soon as well.

    Vee- Thank you!

    writerchick- Thank you dear. I can say the same about your writing… I’m glad you enjoyed it.

    Queen of the Universe- There never is an answer, to anything, is there?

    Kevin H- You won’t get anything less ;)

  51. I think I’m in love with you!

  52. I love the way you see things, always have. Great insight. Magnificently portrayed.

  53. I love the way you see things, always have. Also love the images you paint, eithr through words or art, you always end with a geat portrait. Maybe next time you can add some of your own paintings to your stories..?
    Great insight. Magnificently portrayed.

  54. Ahhhhh!!! Fantastic Disturbed Stranger! This piece was not really saddening as much as it vwas peaceful and relieving. The water crashing in conflict with the seagulls’ graceful gliding was mesmerizing.
    I read it over and over, simply beautiful!
    The papers were puzzling though; letters? suicide notes? or from a lover? Not providing an answer was clever of you. Not only does it give the reader the opportunity to imagine different scenarios but also gives it a mystifying taste of reality.
    WELL DONE!

  55. well written….very well described….especially the merging of papers in the water…..well done

  56. how do you find such great pics to match your words? ahhhmazing!

  57. Freedom from pain. Is it caused by her death only or are the disappearing words on those pages part of the relief? It is as though the pain is killed by murdering the body, but even the memory of the pain needed to be gotten rid of. Or could it be that the suicide itself was caused when she had to write those words there? As if expressing her pain on paper made the pain impossible to bear.

    This is beautiful writing. I was impressed when I first read it and I’m even more impressed now. I hate being impressed by somber thoughts, but it seems that somber is what you do best. Keep them coming love :*

  58. You got mail ;-)

  59. your post reminded me of bob dylan’s one more cup of coffee before i go ( to the valley below ) .

    lovely, as usual.

  60. Wonderful piece, can’t help but feel her, good job! :)

  61. Chris- I get that a lot… it’s almost meaningless…

    J.J- Thanks.. but I’d never add my paintings here… they’re too personal, you’ve seen them, you know what I mean.

    Elijah- Always out to analyze… why can’t you just read for the sake of reading only? ;) loved your last post by the way.

    unbreakable- Thank you and welcome to my blog.

    naughtycorner07- I don’t know.. I just have a good eye for things.. and I always take whatever pleases my eyes ;)

    hanan- Maybe she was unappreciated… or belittled… or neglected… or falsely accused…? So many unanswered questions… I guess we’ll never know now will we? The torture of physical pain doesn’t come close to that of mental pain. Thank you for your “support”.

    Adrenaline- Got it ;)

    vixenfatale- Maybe I shoud’ve added that somewhere… Thank you.

    tomachfive- I wish other people had the decency to feel her as well. Thank you and welcome to my blog.

  62. i don’t think it was easy at all, but freedom from all pain is so tempting! its important to remember that life w/ all its good and bad is too precious to let go of.
    thanx, gr8 blog.

  63. Неплохо

  64. Brilliant imagery in your words. Simply beautiful

  65. So good and touching. well done

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