Unattainable Freedom

Stillness and silence drenched the atmosphere. The only sounds that broke that silence were the pounding of her heart and her uncontrollable panting. Her chest heaved and fell restlessly. Shaking on the outside but frozen on the inside. Her eyes were fixated on the innate figure that lay unconsciously before her. She did not dare blink, incase she lost sight of him. Is he dead? Not a chance. Was this her chance? Her chance for escape? Can she escape? Possibly. But…. Did she really want to? She wasn’t panicking but she was utterly confused.

After a while of thinking…’processing’… she finally built up the courage to take a step forward. Nothing happened. He did not move. Another step. She was close now. Closer to her freedom… and closer to him. Her chains clinked as she moved slowly. She kneeled down beside the motionless figure with a single thought on her mind… keys She noticed his bulky pocket and could not help but feel a chill of excitement! Reaching for his pocket her heart sank. She could feel the keys… clutching them, she withdrew her hand gently with a jingle and quickly retreated to her former position..

She fumbled with the keys hesitantly until…Click! Unlocked. Freedom?! Immobile, she gazed at the door…then the corpse. Should I tiptoe? Not wanting to waste any more precious time thinking…she rushed for the door…the exit…the opportunity. And as she was passing, the figure unexpectedly seized her ankle and toppled her over. Still clasping her ankle, he pulled her underneath him and lay on top of her.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you didn’t like it here”

He smirked.

She squirmed.

“You’re not going anywhere…I promise you that.”

And for the first time… she agreed with him.

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~ by Disturbed Stranger on May 15, 2008.

58 Responses to “Unattainable Freedom”

  1. BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! That was a completely unexpected but an extremely powerful ending! I see why Mr.Burns complemented your unique style, “simple yet complex” very true! Etremely well done! and FINALLY I know the ending :P been waiting a year for it but completely worth it. So when is the next collection? ;)

  2. The Keeper just told me about your ending, very excited he was :P I have to say your ending is confusing yet unpredictable. So she decided to give up? or was she finally seduced to stay?
    Either way great job Disturbed.

  3. Damn it!

  4. Super! Tragically magnificent. I agree with Jonathan, very unexpected but not your typical self-assuring ending… Disturbing indeed.

    Superb job Stranger!

  5. Well done my dear. A fabulous ending. My reading: evil always wins in the end.
    Now was it really just a set of keys that caused the bulkiness in his pockets? She seems a bit too excited. Is that why she decided to stay? Couldn’t resist the bulkiness there I guess :)

    Great job. Waiting anxiously for your next pieces.

  6. Truely well done Disturbed, my heart beat with every word; thrilling!
    Amazing ending to an amazing story. The picture is horrifically graphic too.
    Bring on more chills! :P

  7. Ya salaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!! nehaya qaweya! Disturbed u r a great writer! I am so proud to show you off to my friends and say this is my girl ;) u make ur daddy proud :*

    Now give me something else to brag about :P

  8. unexpected..
    terrific ending couldn’t have come up with a better one myself :)
    you’ve gotta tell me how you do it, sharing is caring you know? :)

  9. Fab Disturbed! Absolutely fab!

    looking forward to the next piece

  10. (applause)
    That was quite a show in my head. A show well directed and perfectly set up by you Disturbed, hats off to you.

  11. The Keeper- Mr.Burns is a smart man. Too bad your suffering is over though.

    Jonathan- Neither are your conclusions correct or are they even remotely “accepatable”…

    Amethyst- Yes! Lovely! I love disappointments!

    Chris-“tragically”? really? I thought it was beautiful ;)

    hanan- First of all, you are jumping into uncertain conclusions; how do you know she isn’t evil? What makes him evil? Holding her against her “will”? But is she really there against her will? Plus since when is taking forceful measures an anti-love thing? Don’t you know it’s the person who loves you who hurts you? At least they’d care enough to hurt you… An obsessed man… A hesitant woman… no evident conclusion… or is there? ;)
    Secondly, the “bulk” is a pun, smartly spotted… says a lot ;)

    This Random Life- I think the picture is exquisite… and thank you.

    Viper- Pitiful :)

    Dr.Know- “sharing is caring”; I don’t do either ;)

    Victoria- Thank you

    Congenitally Disturbed- A show? Fiction is no show. Especially MY fiction… Masterpiece would be a wiser choice ;)

  12. I’m slightly turned on. Is this normal? Shit, who cares? Where are those batteries…?

    Seriously, very well done Disturbed. Very.

  13. “Agreement”… Clever girl.
    Spectacular job darling.

  14. WoooooooooooooW! I want that guy! I don’t care what that makes me or what you people say! He sounds amazing! Just like you said Disturbed he’s obsessed with her! He loves her so much that he’s willing to keep her even against her will with him! You don’t find men like that nowadays! He’s amazing! I want him! :(

    Great ending! And as usual terrific descriptions! Bring on more hotties! :P

  15. BizyLizy and Zartha LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
    Zartha he’s a character from a story, a fictitious hottie. But dreaming is good babe :*
    Disturbed, great ending, I love it! The prisoner stays forever, trapped with him, having no one there but him… Ideal ;)

    Proud of you luv :*

  16. I’ve been a silent reader, although I did comment on ur grand opening :)
    I must say that was some story, extremely chilling and mind-boggling :P
    Good for him holding on to her and good for her for not entirely letting go of him :) they make an adorabley “disturbing” couple :P

    Cant wait till the next post.

  17. In a funny moment, I wrote something for you, Disturbed Stranger. I hope you don’t mind, the ghosts of Thelma & Louise made me do it :-) …

    “And then they made passionate love and, having been lured by her easy consent, the jailer did not see the rock she held in her hand which she proceeded to smash on his head after he had fully satisfied her desires. Rising, she stripped his unconscious body of its clothes, which she proceeded to put on, then took his wallet and car keys, smirking, muttering “sucker” under her breathe. It was a full moon and a beautiful night, full of infinite possibilities that come with freedom. As she drove off something within her jumped and clutched at her heart. Her eyes flew to the rear view mirror and an inexplicable sadness consumed her as she drove off, miserable yet elated as she realized that freedom was never for free.”

  18. *thump thump thump* My heart was racing…i liked how you ended it! I knew she wouldn’t be free, but just to find out when/how he’d regain his control of his prisoner, kept my excitement/interest. More Please

  19. LOVE IT! It’s perfect. I see no flaw in your writing. Your style and tone are sarcastic and dark more than gothic which gives your stories a powerful thrill.

    Next post please.

  20. harmonie22: LOL. I believe our writer’s aggressiveness has rubbed off onto you :) But well done. You seem to have put Powell’s words to practice. Clever girl indeed.
    DS. It’s my story and I’ll jump if I want to (now add the appropriate tune here) :) I’m the reader, the consumer. This is a product given to the readers (since you choose to publish it). As a reader, I choose to use this product as I please. The conclusions are mine to make because the story is mine to use :)
    and p.s. Hurting someone is not a sign of love. Possessiveness maybe. But not love :* Of course a person suffering from the Stockholm Syndrome, as our protagonist seems to be, might mistakingly think otherwise.

  21. BizyLizy- Found the batteries? ;) and thank you.

    Powell- Thank you.

    Zartha- Obsession has it’s dark side… knowing you… you wouldn’t want it… or yet, you’re not capable of handling it.

    Queen N- Your principles are messed up woman.

    *Note: There has been some confusion in reference to my previous comment. I did not mean to imply in any way that a physical abuser is a person who loves you. Physical violence is not justifiable.

    Joshua- Yeah, they do.

    harmonie22- hmmm… not bad… but I like my ending more ;) but I’ll tell you what, if I’m ever stuck on an ending I’ll let you know………hmmmm….. then you’ll write me one…. then I’ll add an ending myself and not take yours…. coz mine will be better (lol and yes I am rubbing it in ;)) lol note to Zartha and Bizylizy: don’t be getting any ideas now ;)

    naughtycorner07- Glad you enjoyed it.

    Delusional BND- Thank you.

    hanan- Don’t mess with me doll ;) or I will take back your privilege of replying to my readers.

  22. I am capable of handling it :( just get me that guy :(

    and loooooooooool I already got ideas :P

  23. S’mellah 3ala bnaytee!! La aggressive wala shay! Ma feeha ila il 3afya :*
    Don’t let anyone get to you 3omri :* work on your next story and make MaMa proud :*

    and my principles ma feehom shay and ya know it, la yshayshoonich 3alay :)

  24. You’re not taking back anything. :P And you’re proving in your comments that we, readers, should never trust your interpretive words. One minute you write “Don’t you know it’s the person who loves you who hurts you” and the next you go “I did not mean to imply in any way that a physical abuser is a person who loves you.” Make up your mind.
    Though, come to think of it, I’m liking this schizophrenic part of you. Who needs a totally sane storyteller anyway? :P

  25. A chain of ecstasy by a tremendously remarkable author. I enjoyed devouring each and every word. Looking forward to other stories.

  26. He should’ve died

  27. That was quite a story Disturbed! phew! I can relax now, I’ve been tense since part 1 :) She’s not going anywhere hahaha ;)

    More please.

  28. Whoooooooooooa! Great job Stranger! ;) I’m lovin’ it!

  29. Lol I know, I know.. Since I’m the most important person here I was supposed to be first to post.. yet you out of all people know how much I’ve been busy :P

    Ok thank god we go this over with :D NEW STORIES COME ON :D !

  30. oh ya sorry to double post but i forgot. People I’m finally back to posting on my blog http://ippo1.wordpress.com and DS.. don’t you think a little advertisement is in order :P ? <3

  31. I like the open ending, forces the reader to be a little creative, sooooooo you :P

    well done babe :*

  32. Hey Stranger :)
    Remember me?
    Fantastic job, your story was breathtaking and exciting!
    Very unpredictable ending, not surprised though ;) you’re a great writer.

    Goodluck in your next posts

  33. Hey Stranger :)
    Remember me?
    Fantastic job, your story was breathtaking and exciting!
    Very unpredictable ending, not surprised though ;) you’re a great writer.

    Goodluck in your next posts

  34. 7elew! 7elew! 7eleeeeeeeeeew!
    I am proud to know you :P
    Lol, ana wa Viper are loyal friends you know :) Now more stories babe.

  35. Queen N- No one gets to me… and I don’t need you to stand up for me thank you I can do that myself.

    hanan- Yes, that’s what I wrote, but I didn’t mean hurt in the physical sense only.

    Ancrene Wiseass- Thank you.

    Katy- Yeah and I “should’ve” been born to royalty.

    Keven H- :)

    L- Does this look like a billboard to you? and no double commenting you’re wasting space and bothering me ;)

    Lily- How can I forget? ;) “buzzer”

    ~F~ PaNtHeR- Yup. You are a woman’s best friend ;) (pun intended)

  36. Don’t push it 7ayati :) …. or there is gonna be some serious pinching :D

  37. Nicely done Disturrbed

  38. Sensational work Distiurbed Stranger. You’ve got quite a talent there. Keep it up.

  39. impressive .. now thats something i didn’t read before and i love the ending .. abi more !!

  40. Does he harrass her? What happens? Why does she agree with him? This is confusing and insane!!

  41. So violent! Chains? Dungeons? Abusers? Trapped and tortured. How can she end up agreeing with him? This IS Stockholm Syndrome!! She has been brain-washed to stay and accept torture accept being stripped away from her freedom, but for what?

  42. I like your blog :)
    Bleak attitude and disturbing stories, everything you need in a woman ;)

  43. L- LoL. ok..

    Demonic Abilities- I know… I am quite something, aren’t I?

    Phil Barnes- Thank you.

    Kinmo- Good.. I am glad you’re confused :)

    Mystique- Agreeing with him doesn’t necessarily mean she “submitted” to him… There is a difference there… Besides, she seemed to be irresolute about her needs and desires right from the start, maybe she finally conceded to her feelings , don’t you think?

    Chris Neal- Yes, well…. I am complete ;)

  44. Looooooooooooool! Yeah :D
    I’m still upset coz you changed your blog :( The old one had great memories! Too bad about all the great stories too :(

    Why did you make a new one? :(

  45. Yeah, you really are.

  46. :(

  47. You have MORE stories elsewhere than what’s here on this blog? Hmmm, i’m interested! Are they prequel’s to the current stories you’ve written here?

  48. Amazing. Amazingly sad:/

  49. GREAT ENDING! Totally not expected!
    Not a happily-ever-after person are you? Very very very well done.
    Excited about the next story. Keep them coming.

  50. Lily- I needed a new start… for a new beginning…

    naughtycorner07- No, they are different stories, poems, descriptives…etc.

    Silver- Thank you.

    Pure hatred- disturbingly-ever-after?

  51. wa ya7obich 7eg il disturbed :*
    C’mon!!! New Post!

  52. WHAT? faj2a she’s back to square one? i demand a more disturbed ending ….finish it….write a twisted ending….and i don’t like her that much…so kill her or at least hurt her….you know what!? better.. make him hate her and dump her :p :D

  53. q8tia- shhhhh! (see? I replied ;) )

    Nymphadora- I already told a certain reader I don’t believe in “battered person syndrome” when she insisted that the woman should kill the jailor… Now I ask you…hmmmm….. why do you want her dead/dumped/hated? ;)

  54. How desireous.
    ;^)

  55. amazing! keep it up! :)

  56. depressingly possible :( … and stunningly written :) !

  57. My heart was beating so fast, while i read it, I totally loved it, and I felt for the girl in it, again WOW

  58. Great writing. I believe freedom is always attainable if it is truly our desire. PLL, CordieB.

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